HOW TO STAY UNBOTHERED
The world has trained people to react to everything. Somebody else's opinion should not have remote control access to your nervous system.
It is harder than people think to become unbothered, because the world has trained you to get mad at damn near everything.
Somebody looks at you wrong. Somebody makes a comment. Some stranger yells something from another car. Somebody on social media does not like what you said.
Now you are pissed. Really pissed. Mad enough to ruin the whole afternoon over somebody you will probably never see again.
Really?
That motherfucker might have eaten a booger five minutes ago.
Why are you giving him control of your nervous system?
AND THE CAR THEY DROVE BY IN.
MOVE ON.
Stop Assigning Value to Worthless Opinions
A stranger does not like what you did for seven seconds? Who cares?
They are allowed to think whatever they want. You are also allowed to keep walking.
Social Media Trained You to Wait for Something
Social media has conditioned people to keep looking for a status change because there may not be one happening in their real life.
Like. Comment. Share. Argument. Refresh. Refresh again.
Now silence feels wrong, so you go looking for something to react to.
Stop. Go create an actual status change. Build something. Fix something. Learn something. Call somebody. Go outside.
Care Hard. Just Care About the Right Shit.
Care about your family. Care about your friends. Care about your health. Care about your work. Care about keeping your word. Care about whether the people closest to you can count on you.
Care about whether you are becoming somebody you respect.
But the stranger at the gas station who does not like your hat? Come on.
Find Your People
Close your eyes and think about the people whose opinions actually matter.
Some of them may not even be alive anymore. That is okay.
I still talk to my dead folks.
You know that little voice in your head when you are deciding whether you should do something? A lot of the time, you already know what the people who raised you, loved you, trained you or believed in you would say.
You know the difference between “Do it. You can handle this.” and “Come on, man. You know better.”
Listen to that.
Other People Are Allowed to Live Differently
You do what you want. Let the next person do what they want. Watch each other's backs.
You do not like how somebody talks? Fine. What they eat? Fine. Who they love? Fine. How they worship? Fine.
If they are not directly harming you or somebody else, why are you dedicating your life to monitoring theirs?
THIS LAND IS MY LAND.
REMEMBER THE DAMN SONG?
Stop Watching People You Hate
“I cannot stand this person.” Then you check their page six times a day.
You know where they ate, what they bought, who they are dating and what they deleted Wednesday.
Brother, that is a fan club.
Go do something with your own life.
How Not to Be a Useless Piece of Shit
Go do something you enjoy. Stay busy enough building your own life that you do not have time to police somebody else's.
Find work you care about. Find people you love. Find something difficult and get better at it. Help somebody. Build something. Make something. Teach something. Laugh. Get outside. Repeat.
The Rule
You only have so much attention. Spend it where something can actually improve because you cared.
Do not waste it on dumb shit. Do not hand strangers control over your mood. Do not confuse outrage with purpose. Do not confuse attention with importance.
And stop expecting everybody to approve of your next move. They do not have to. You do not have to approve of theirs either.
Whatever phrase gets you there. Care about what needs caring about, mind your own damn life, watch each other's backs, and let's coexist in peace.